


Fireflies

by Ereri_Freak



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:39:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8140940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ereri_Freak/pseuds/Ereri_Freak
Summary: In four days, pop idol Levi- or better known as No Name, will confess to the person he is in love with. Why does this affect Eren so much?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Chee! Hello everyone, better get used to me writing again. I've found a couple ideas for my other fic, so that'll be updated soon. Feel free to comment your thoughts and tips, they're always welcome.

_And I'll use you as a warning sign: that if you talk enough sense, you'll lose your mind._

Levi had been gathering a lot of attention- from fans, teachers, poets, and Eren Jaeger. The boy knew his existence long before the rest of the world, yet Levi never bothered to tell him about the new contest he was running.

In the news, Eren found out about his best friend's new, mysterious letter system. Everyone who wanted to enter put their name into a raffle, and then every day, Levi would pull from that bucket and have one name he'd write a heartfelt letter to. It could be anything, really. Didn't matter if it was written on a napkin, since fans would still try to get something written by the No Name himself.

But Eren, already knowing that since Levi had never seemed to notice him, wouldn't want to pull his name and have to write something fake for the boy, so he never did once put his name in that cup. Everyone he knew did enter, though, which made him all the more interested in what would happen if they were pulled. After one person's been pulled, nobody knew who would be after that, and the day after that, until the fourth day arrived. No Name had already announced that he'd be giving a special gift for one person- that he picked- on that day, and no amount of donations or begging would pursued him from his original plan.

The two had grown up together, although Levi was only three years older than the brunet, who had come into his care by chance after his mother died. Eren was taken in by Armin, his best friend, and grew with him, until he met the raven who never really told him to stick next to him, yet did so anyway.

No Name, the man whom Eren adored to the very beginning, was the first thing he had set eyes on at the bar when he'd sing before he was doing tours around the world. Levi Ackerman had been the first one to have been noticed at the small tavern on West street by the little boy, whose eyes always tended to linger too long on the raven's cold, glassy irises.

Flipping on the news one day, Eren wasn't attacked by the million terrorist sights, bombings all over the world, and no sign of anything related tot he 21st century. Only Levi's plastered face, which seemed to be photoshopped out of comprehension, glowing with nothing but computer magic. Oh, how his eyes twinkled more when you saw him up close. But Eren had no time to dwell on Levi's beautiful face, instead, the screen flipped over to a news reporter, outside of the building Levi worked during the day for his record company. Millions of people- most likely fans, lined up in massive rows and columns, screaming out the name most people knew Levi by.

_Just recently, No Name has released a new contest. Whoever he picks on the fourth day will be his real love, no matter how it is received, only one person in the entire world will know. Nobody else will find out, except the one lucky person. So, get your votes in, the contest is closing tomorrow night at the strike of twelve!_

Eren's heart dropped, comprehending the meaning behind all the reporter's words. Levi was already in love with somebody else. He should've known that at this point, Levi would obviously want to find someone to spend the rest of his life with, and want to do it in the most comical way possible- that was just Levi, of course. But Eren had so many nights he dreamed of Levi holding him, and waking up to the some mint tea that Levi always sipped at. Eren wanted nothing to be true, but he couldn't just stop Levi from falling for whomever he had.

It could've been Erwin, Hanji, or maybe even Petra. Or anyone else in this world that Eren had yet to meet. Levi had never told him this, and he was willing to bet that this mystery person couldn't be him.

No Name was the one person everyone could agree on being the sexiest on stage, but if you knew him otherwise, you'd have to disagree. He was a klutz, always falling over his words in a meeting, or just trying to make small talk. But his eyes, oh how they sparkled in the night when he'd retire for the day in the room that always looked into Eren's room- across the lawn and over the pavement. They were neighbors, alright, so Eren would know what and who Levi was.

No Name really was the only person Eren knew to be so miserable at romance, and the worst at cooking ever. But he had his perks. He was cute, his small, dimply smile he gave at the end of performances, and the way his eyes shone when Eren always just smirked from the corner of the room, trying to subtly clap for his friend. But that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to touch those worn lips so badly, to feel them clashing against his own, and to know that it was Levi who loved him. Nobody else.

But knowing that Levi- No Name would never intentionally put his lips on the boy's own, made him want to cry, already aware that Levi had someone that he wanted to touch instead of Eren. No Name wanted to be with someone other than Eren for the rest of his life, and the boy never once thought that this would happen sometime, although he already knew that his dreams were practically futile.

But the raven still continued to come over the boy's house for dinner each night- most likely driven by the little skill he held on his own to make a meal, and afraid that he'd die if he ate anything other than what Eren cooked, although the brunet wasn't a good cook in the least. At least he could make a chicken without burning down the kitchen, as Levi had once done when he had tried to copy what Eren had done for him.

A glass was set down by the raven's fingers, tracing over the rim as he spoke to the boy, "So, what do you think of the contest?"

"Hm? I think it's a wonderful chance for you."

"How so?" Levi could see the way Eren's forehead scrunched up in the pathetically adorable way it always had.

"I mean, you probably already are in love with someone, so now they'll know it's really you."

"Oh, I guess. What are you making?"

"Just some stew. Nothing too fancy. But I mean it. The person you've hopelessly fallen for must be somebody special."

Levi ignored the last compliment, or whatever it was supposed to be, since beign a compliment really didn't fit its definition. "That sounds delicious."

"Could you tell me who?" Eren smiled, leaning over the countertop to reach Levi's eyes inside. They were so close, and all Eren wanted to hear was that it wasn't some strange girl that the raven had hooked up with during the past month.

"Of course not, nobody else will know besides that person, remember?"

"Right. Sorry." Eren retreated back to where he was, turning the boiler off as he drained the dumplings into the bowl that he would give to Levi before adding in the mixture on the stove.

His hands brought the bowl over, seeing Levi's hungry eyes set in stone on the food. "Enjoy."

"Thanks, Eren." The raven glanced up to see that the boy wasn't paying attention, and had already turned to do the dishes. So he started eating from the stew, the taste of home residing in his mouth.

Eren had always been praised by Levi at how good he was at cooking, and by now, he just brushed the compliments off as Levi just being polite. But it always sent tingles around his body each time Levi merely spoke to the boy, knowing that the raven was yet to toss him to the side once he was satisfied and had already used Eren to his max, yet for now, Levi still kept him tightly wrapped around his finger. That's all Eren needed to know for now, as long as he could still talk to Levi and be able to make food for him every night- except those which he had to stay back at the recording studio a few hours too long to finish up a new song.

His live performances were spectacular, and anyone who was lucky enough to see them must agree, already knowing that No Name was able to have everyone bow down to him just by the first word uttered through his lips. His tickets were expensive, yet Eren was always invited to come for free, along with Hanji and Erwin and Petra and Mikasa, so he didn't always feel so welcomed the minute he found Erwin's cold looks on the floor. At first, he was glad to be able to come back stage to talk to Levi, until he found out that ten other people had gotten the same rights- people he had never once met before, most likely fans drawing from some illegal contest with a prize of a backstage pass to one of No Name's concerts.

Fans were crazy then, attempting to rip off all of Levi's clothing, and then proceeding to taking turns to try to kiss him, although he always managed to avoid them without having to swat them off him. Eren would just sit in the corner until Levi found himself next to the boy, looking into his eyes until nothing else seemed to be relevant. Most of the screaming girls were already escorted out by Levi's personal body guard, and set back in the audience like the rest of the fans to watch after Levi's break.

This time, though, Levi wasn't exactly looking at Eren, which confused and worried the boy.

"Eren," The boy perked up at his name falling from the raven's mouth, and nodded. "Can I give you something before I die?"

"...What do you mean? You're not going to die, okay?"

"No, I mean about later. When I'm old and bones, and can't even walk without a wheelchair. Can I give you something before that happens?" He turned to the brunet, his eyes not glazed over as they had been so many times before, but piercing blue, hidden by the gray in Levi's eyes.

"Yeah, of course. Whatever you want, I'll take."

"Good." The male rubbed the back of his friend, pushing up and strolling over to the stage where Eren heard many loud cheers and shrieks of joy from the audience, and oh how he wanted to run over to Levi and just hug him.

_"Okay, and now our first winner. Kayla Morgan, please report to the backstage alone after the concert ends, and I'll make sure to give your prize."_

_"Oh my god, No Name!!! You're too sweet!"_

Kayla Morgan. The first person to get a letter, and all Eren could do was curl up in a small ball on the couch backstage as he drifted off with the sounds of Levi's beautiful voice filling his head of all the fantasies he had that were soon to be killed. The next person would also take a letter, and then the one after that, until it came time for Levi's mysterious confession, which nobody else would ever know, not even his closest friend, Eren. Not Hanji, but if she had been informed, then she was sworn to secrecy. Same goes for anyone else Levi might've told.

 _Sweet, sweet melody, put me to sleep_. Eren wanted so badly to just know who Levi liked, or even loved. He didn't know, since the raven never told him about his romantic life, and if he did, only little bits and pieces of previous relationships that had failed.

There were only three more songs until Levi was allowed to meet Kayla Morgan backstage, and then Eren could drive the man home, retiring for the bed and crying himself to sleep. He just wanted more answers. That was all he asked for. He could live without Levi by his side, but he wanted to at least know who Levi decided to spend his life with, and he wanted to know one last time that Levi wasn't going to throw him away yet. That's all he needed to hear.

He needed to know that the connection they formed when they were kids was still there, somewhere unreachable, maybe, but still there.

Only a half hour later, Levi came running back in past the curtains and through the metal door to where Eren had almost drifted off on. "Eren, you've got to help me with this letter. She's coming in any minute, but I don't have anything prepared."

Eren smirked, laughing. "Of course, this is you we're talking about. Why would you ever want to prepare yourself more than two seconds beforehand?"

"Please, just this once-"

"Yeah, yeah. I already said yes. Of course I'll help you." Eren felt Levi plop himself down next to him, and felt his body pushing against his own as Levi read off what he had so far.

 _"Dear Kayla, I hope you have had a great time at the performance. I know I certainly did. I'd hope to see you again, so please don't be hesitant to return._ How was that?" Eren laughed again, nodding his head as Levi dug his arms on his mouth so he was being muffled.

"Ish sunds fon. Lebi, let o oph my mouth."

"Sorry," He retracted his hand, letting Eren breathe, and then the brunet glanced once up at Levi's eyes, seeing that they were already leaning into his.

"It's fine, really."

"Just fine? I'm supposed to sound romantic and playful, not just fine. How would you word it?"

"Well, it's not like you've been watching her for years and know everything about her, so I'd skip going there. Just tell her a joke, and then compliment her eyes, I guess."

"Okay, thanks, Eren."

"It's no problem, you hopeless loverboy." With that, he received a sharp stab in the stomach, and before he could retaliate, Levi was off, writing down what Eren had suggested.

"Done! Read this over, Eren."

"Better. Much better. I think she'll like it."

"You make it sound as if I'm writing a delicate love letter." Levi scoffed, fixing his unbuttoned shirt when he heard the door knock.

A girl was welcomed, and she didn't look anything but the ordinary. Plain, straight hair down to her shoulders, and Levi's eyes placed on hers. Eren hated it. He wanted those eyes to linger in his own forever, but not on some girl who had just been lucky enough to have been pulled.

"You must be Kayla. Uh, please, come in."

"Thanks." She didn't sound all too energetic, but who would be when everyone was clawing at her on the way she took to even get inside. Eren had to give her credit for getting here alive.

"Here's the letter, I hope you like it. Don't open it until you get home." Levi leaned in, saying something else in her ear which caused her whole face to light up in one whole tomato. Eren longed for the feeling of Levi's lips nipping at his ear while he whispered sweet nothings into his own ear, but that wouldn't ever happen now. Not that Levi already had his eyes set on someone else.

She quickly bowed her head, rushing out of the door before stumbling on the words of thanks and sorry, although she didn't seem to be noticed by Levi.

"What were you saying that made her so flustered?" Eren questioned, his eyes curious, but a fake smile was planted on his mouth.

"Oh, nothing you've got to be worried about." Eren had been wondering, but with the way Levi didn't even seem to want to tell Eren he let the matter drop, picking up the raven's things and started to trot over to the car, where he deposited the bags and clothing, sure to not forget anything behind before Levi locked up.

The ride home was quiet and bumpy, each indent on the road making them jump in their seats, yet Eren stayed dead silent. After almost an hour of being quiet, Levi turned to his friend.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Eren's reply was too quick. Too rushed, and it made him want to take it back by the way Levi looked hurt, offended, he didn't know. he would take the raven home, and then go to his own only next door, and then be able to forget this whole day. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"But something's got to be wrong, then? You aren't acting normal."

"Don't worry, Levi. I'm fine." When they pulled up to the house where Levi resided in, Eren let him out, taking a few bags as well as he helped the raven get inside. Whether he was mad at the man, or just disappointed by the way he'd never tell Eren anything, he wanted to rip something apart, and he certainly didn't want to be near Levi for the time being. Just a few minutes away couldn't kill him, right?

But, before he could exit the doorway, Levi's hand grasped onto the boy's wrist, holding him back. "Please, Eren. Just tell me what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything-"

"Then why are you acting like this? This isn't normal, and I really don't get why."

"If you don't understand, then let me go." He tugged at his arm, not finding it any easier to pull away. "Please. Levi, just let me go."

"I-I'll see you at dinner, then?"

Eren turned around, facing the man he had fallen in love with. "Not tonight. Just give me a little time to think about things."

"Eren, if I've done anything to upset you, please tell me! I don't care if you will kick or punch me to feel better, just please tell me if something is bothering you." The boy turned around, his fist finding Levi's jaw before he had time to think about what he had done. The older didn't look too shocked, although he was thoroughly surprised that Eren would actually hit him. He didn't know why he had done that, and Eren wanted to just leave before his hands became even more destructive.

"S-Sorry. I'm sorry, Levi."

"Eren, it's fine- wait!" Eren was off, running to his own house without another look back, and he slammed the door before finally sliding down the floor.

His hands wrapped around his legs, hopelessness filling his body.

Levi was in love with someone else, and Eren was just old trash now. Levi didn't need him, and all he's ever wanted was to see Levi want him and desire his touch, and crave his needs. That's all. Nothing more. Eren could ask for nothing more than just for Levi to realize that he loved him since two years after they met, and he couldn't take his eyes off the raven.

He didn't want Levi to be with anyone else, but he knew that it was the way it was going to happen, no matter what he tried to do. No matter how much tugging he'd make, and how much effort he'd add, Levi would never understand that the person who'd always be faithful to him was right beside him. And Levi seemed to care, but Eren couldn't have noticed, blinded by confusion why Levi wouldn't just _tell_ Eren who he cared for. That's all he needed to hear. The person's name, and he'd be able to die. He'd only craved for Levi once more, and then leave his sight forever. As long as he got a name or explanation for Levi's weird acting towards the boy.

***

The rest of the days went on the same way. Levi would go to his gigs, and Eren would accompany him, although neither spoke a word as Levi would give two more letters to strangers. Complete strangers who were affected by No Name's stupidest and adorable features. Eren wanted so badly to have Levi talking to him in the same fashion, only not forced like it was for the three girls who came in.

He wanted to hear Levi talk to him, to tell him why he was doing this to him when he knew that Eren was always the second thing he's turn to- never the first.

But friends can eventually turn into complete strangers, as Eren soon learned.

When Levi had come off the stage, he sat down next to the boy, but didn't even look at the brunet before grabbing a bottle of water. He never tried to spark a conversation between the two, although Eren felt as guilty as he did about how he'd shoved the man away from him when all he wanted was for him to stay by his side forever. He wanted to reach his arm over and be able to lace their fingers together. Forever, if that was possible. But nothing is forever, so that wouldn't happen, would it? Of course not, what stupid nonsense was spewing from Eren's head right now?

"...Levi," The male didn't respond, instead turning away from the brunet ever so slightly and tapping his knee with his fingertips to no beat of music whatsoever. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was bothering me, and I don't want this to affect _us_. Levi, please, I'm sorry for pushing you aw-"

"I'm going back out to announce the final winner."

"Levi..." Eren wanted to reach out and grab the male's hand, to keep him back by his side. Levi wouldn't leave him, and Eren knew that. Levi wouldn't just push the boy away after one single thing that Eren had screwed up on. But his hand stayed by his side, letting his only light go outside, and hear the crowed cheer as Eren curled up into a small fetal ball, holding his legs to his head as he whimpered.

He fucked every living thing up, and it was all his fault Levi had fallen in love with somebody else. It wasn't anyone else's doing, only his. He needed to be blamed, so he'd continue to do so to himself. Levi announced the final winner, and a couple loud shrieks roared from the crowed, a little girl jumping up on stage and hugging the man that Eren wanted to do the same things to. But he couldn't, since Levi never felt anything more than just a friendship between them- if even that.

He would throw the boy out one day, and Eren already knew this, despite his loud way of arguing it. He didn't want to let Levi go, yet he knew that No Name was the person Levi truly was, the one he wanted to be, and the person he'd hide behind before ever consulting to Eren for any help. But that was okay, Eren was expecting this for a while now.

 _Please stop this beating in my heart every time he places his gaze on me_. _Please stop this fluttering from the insides that make me just want to hold him and hug him and talk to him all night long, watching under the night sky of stars, holding us like a blanket_. _Please stop this urge to punch him_.

After what felt like only a split second, the girl had gone off the stage, back to where Levi had guided her- only a few inches from the curtain that hid Eren away. Neither of the two heard Eren's squeaked back sigh as he saw the two hugging- actually, the girl had jumped the raven. His heart almost stopped when their hands touched, and the girl almost grasped onto the male's, gripping them so hard Eren thought that Levi's precious fingers would be broken by the end of the day. But eventually, the girl left, and the raven made his way back to the other side of the curtain, glancing over to the boy lying on the couch.

"Please, hear me out, Levi."

"Fine." Levi began to tap his fingernails on the tips of his kneecaps, the steady beating was all Eren needed to keep his heart pushing against the cage holding it in even harder, and not ceasing until he was able to speak again.

"I know you were only worried about me. It's my fault that I pushed you away, I was just mad."

"About what?"

"What you said to me earlier. You told me that it was none of my business to know who you were going to confess to, although I just wanted to know to know. Nothing more than that."

"I already told you that _nobody's_ going to find out. That includes you, for the time being."

"Hm, well, it wasn't like I needed to know. I'm sorry for punching you, and for saying everything I did. I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad."

Eren glanced over, seeing that Levi's eyes were distant, looking out somewhere he could not reach. Levi was already in another world, and Eren was only trying to keep up, although it seemed futile. "Then what are you feeling?"

"...Nothing."

"Please," Eren tried to hide the tears coming his way with a hiccup, or a sneeze, but it didn't work as well as he had imagined it. Instead, his whole back shook, and nothing else mattered but the fact that Levi was now staring at him, his eyes laced with a pond of concern. Where did it come from, after all Eren had recently done? "Don't hate me, Levi."

A warm drop ran down his cheek, and he buried his face deeper into his knees, hoping that Levi would just get the idea and leave him alone for the time being. It didn't stop, the pounding in his chest when he felt a cold hand wrap around his own, interlocking their fingers together while Levi just looked at the boy's weeping state. Not once had Eren broken down so miserably in front of somebody he never wanted to ruin his image of in front of.

"Why would I hate you?"

"Because you're just going to throw me out eventually. You'll tire of me, and find someone better to keep you company. The girl you confess to tomorrow will be my replacement, and I know that you won't miss me when I've made such a horrible memory of myself for you. I'm sorry for hitting you; I didn't mean what I said, either. Please, just don't hate me, even if you throw me out."

"I'm not going to just dispose of you so quickly. Never. I wouldn't toss you aside when I love the way you keep me company at three in the morning in the dead of night. I love when you let me come over your place for dinner because I'm so hopeless at cooking. I love it when you smile, but not when you cry. Please don't think I'll throw you away."

"But why don't you? You have fame, fans, and popularity. You could easily get somebody nicer and more pleasant to grow up with, instead of a shit like me. You'll never want me if I was a nobody."

"You're not a nobody. You never were, and you'll always just be Eren Jaeger to me. No one will ever know that you're a nobody, because it's not true."

"Please just leave me alone. I'm sorry, but I need a few minutes alone." Levi sighed and stood up, taking his leave before Eren could stop him.

The boy should've, and he wanted to. He wanted to confess it all right there, and have it be over with and then Levi could finally tell him truthfully that he was just a nobody. He never deserved anything from Levi, not the friendship they shared, and not the endless nights at the other's house to eat from the ice cream container, since nobody could tell them otherwise. He never deserved those beautiful eyes lingering on his, and he didn't deserve the attention he received from the male, even if Levi was the only person who knew of Eren's existence.

So, instead of heading straight home, he'd stop at the bar first to get wasted, leading to flopping down in his bed and wake with a hangover so bad he'd assume it was only a dream. But he didn't go to the bar.

Eren didn't have his car, so he'd have to walk, unless Levi was able to drive him- in this case he wasn't, so the boy had picked up his things and hauled them over his shoulder, huddling himself close to the walls when he opened the door into the cold outdoors, the sun nowhere to even be seen.

But there was a little park near the building the concert was held in, so Eren headed over there. The night was satisfying, yet freezing from the ice landing on Eren's nose despite the fact that it wasn't winter yet. His breaths were turned to mist the minute it hit the air as each swing of the playground's equipment moved.

The only streetlight illuminated Eren's face, the blush across his cheeks from the cold bright, and the shivering he was doing obvious.

He had let Levi go, again. His fingers slipped the minute he thought he had grasped onto something solid, and although he knew he was the one who gave up and let his arms grow weak, he would always find blame in the man.

But the solid memories of the past had his heart beating out of his chest- so hard and fast that he didn't notice the snow piling on his shoes and laces, coat pockets and his soft tufts of brown hair. He didn't seem to notice when the raven perched himself on the swing across from him, his legs moving up and down slowly as he waited for Eren to wake up. The rapid pulses sped up, and up and up and up, and faster and faster and faster until Eren thought he might die. He almost did when he opened his eyes and saw Levi sitting in front of him, to say the least.

There wasn't a single person outside, but why would there be? It was almost midnight by now, and all the little kids screaming earlier had died off, mothers dragging them inside to go to bed. No birds flew around, chirping at everyone and everything that moved or breathed, and no small animals ran across the streets. Eren and Levi were both completely, totally alone. Together.

"...I'm sorry." Eren muttered, although he wasn't sure if Levi had heard him. He didn't hear the familiar tapping the raven did subconsciously with his fingertips against his kneecaps, and he didn't see the raven looking anywhere else than the boy himself.  "I'm really sorry."

The man Eren once knew didn't reply. _The man Eren once knew_. Those words lingered far too long in his mind, although he knew Levi perfectly well. Hell, he grew up with the raven; he knew every little quirk and habit of his, including how pathetic he was at cooking. Or his enthusiasm in singing, when he had first just done small gigs and such at pubs and bars. But now... Levi felt distant. Like another whole person, not the raven Eren grew to know so well. Not the man Eren had fallen in love with. Not someone close, Levi seemed like a stranger right now.

But his pale, thin lips and dark bags under his eyes from no makeup showed otherwise. Eren knew the person sitting in front of him, waiting gently for the words he really wanted to say to come out, although it never did happen. Levi would wait, for the whole night, if necessary, for Eren to speak. Anything would work, except another apology.

"Please, I don't want you to toss me aside. You'll never forgive me. I'm so sorry."

The street light fell on the male's face, causing it to glow in front of Eren just the same as it had the day they first met- at least the first day Eren had ever seen the raven in person. His eyes never changed; they were still as cold and glassy as ever, but they weren't harsh and angered. The man in front of him was a singer, not a lover. Why was he staying, why was he longing?

Because it's the only thing the boy ever wanted.

The man in front of him was only the newer, better version of the original. Levi as Eren had known him was gone- his personality, his quirks that he used to not be afraid to hide, and his frown. Now he held the stage on his shoulders. He never frowned- only sometimes, and he never barked at Eren. He wasn't the same person Eren had gone to concerts to, hiked miles to get to a small gig for, and had secretly wished every night that he would one day be able to talk to the raven. He wasn't the same. Eren wanted him back as badly as he wanted to kiss him right now. He was at a loss for what to do now that he'd finally gotten Levi to confront _him_ , and listen to _him_. Now that Levi was in reach, he felt even further away than ever.

Eren's next words became bitter on his tongue, and he wished that he would just stop talking instead of making everything all the more worse. His next words caused tears to fall, and his vision to blur before he could see what Levi was doing. "Please don't hate me. I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend, and I wish that I'd been able to satisfy you better. Levi, I'm-"

He was cut off by a small touch on his cheek which he leaned into without thinking, and a finger rubbed the peak of the bone, running to his ear, and jawline. As much as he didn't want to, the boy couldn't hold back anymore sobbing, his eyes tearing up as he longed for the touch to never end- but it did, eventually. He wished for himself to be able to be wrapped up in Levi's gentle embrace forever, and never have to think of anyone or anything else than the male. He wanted to lean further into the hand, but he knew it would be suspicious.

"I'm not going to throw you away. You mean more than just a puppet to me, so don't think that."

"I-I'm sorry." He chocked out, but Levi quieted him.

"Please, don't be apologizing. I'm not mad at you for anything, and you didn't do anything wrong. Please don't cry."

A cold finger drifted to Eren's eye, wiping away the liquid running over his face, and it didn't stop. He wanted to cry harder than ever before. Levi was touching him so intimately. Levi was so close. Levi was so gentle, but Levi wasn't his- he never would be. Eren knew that dreaming of things such as living a life with the raven was pointless, because knowing that Levi loved the stage more than anything, he'd eventually have to let him go for someone else. Someone more special and deserving. What had Eren ever done to deserve Levi's soft and affectionate touches now? When had he ever done something- anything right to deserve the way Levi was stroking his face, telling him that nothing was his fault and he'd never throw the brunet out? When had he opened his eyes to see the male he loved right in front of him- like every one of his dreams and hopes that he knew never would come true?

"Please, tell me what's wrong. It's been there since the beginning of the week."

"It's j-just about the contest. You're picking somebody to love, and I should just accept that as you letting go and moving on from the poor life you used to live with me. I should already know by now that I can't keep pretending."

"What are you talking about?"

"You've found love somewhere it's supposed to live, and you're finally going for it."

"Why does that bother you so much?"

"No reason." Eren muttered, retracting himself from the raven's hand, which dropped in defeat.

"Just tell me; I'll announce my winner to you tomorrow, and everything will be fine, okay?"

"Please, just stop. Stop treating me like somebody worth you're presence. I'm a nobody, and you're the one who'll eventually become more famous than the highest ranking singer in the whole world. Please just stop pretending that you'll remember me, because I know you won't."

"Stop spewing nonsense. You're not a nobody. You helped me when I was still trying to find fame, remember?" The brunet nodded, hiding his face towards his lap before being able to meet Levi's gaze. "Please don't tell me to forget you, Eren Jaeger. I could never, and I would never."

"But isn't finding love worth more than just keeping around a old friend? I serve no purpose to you."

"Yes, yes, you do, so stop saying idiotic things."

"Like what?"

"You're there for me whenever I need somebody, and you'll always be my last resort when I can't afford to eat out." Levi laughed, his voice sweetly vibrating against Eren's chest, making his heart speed up and up and up. It wouldn't stop, no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't help feeling this way around Levi; it was just natural.

"Please don't think of me as a last resort. Just throw me away and move on with your new life."

"I can't." Eren quieted, his hands shaking and his knees almost wobbly, but he held firm as Levi glanced his way under the hidden face he set. "Not without you. I can't live without you, Eren Jaeger, so stop saying that I'll throw you away."

Levi's face was getting closer and closer and closer to the brunet's, the soft breaths of the other landing on their noses through the cold of the air. Eren could hear his own heart stop beating, and he could feel the tingling sensation as the man he loved slowly pressed his lips upon Eren's. He could hear the angels singing in hell, and the demons freed as he realized what was happening. It was all so quick, but it made him burst out in another fit of tears, anyway. Eren didn't mean to, honestly. He didn't mean to hug the raven, holding him so close he could smell the lavender scent in his nose, prickling something that had never once been there before. He didn't mean to retract, honestly. He really didn't.

He didn't mean to cry again, but he did. He didn't mean to hang his head in the other male's shoulder, hoping that he could disappear then and there when Levi had whispered something in his ear. He wasted all this time hoping that Levi would love him, or notice that he was trying to get closer to the male. He wasted time hoping that Levi would throw him out when there was no need to. He didn't mean to pull the small male into his embrace once again when the tears had stopped flowing. He didn't mean to, he promised.

But he did.

"I've loved you for my whole life, Levi Ackerman, No Name... My best friend."

"I've wanted to tell you something for a while, and the chance came up suddenly." Levi leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to the boy's lips before nearing his ear, his lips moving, but Eren couldn't hear him.

_And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be. Right in front of me._

"I love you, Eren Jaeger."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading this lovely piece of shit I created from a wacked up dream that came to me in the middle of the night.


End file.
